It’s been three months and 17 days since diagnosis, and again I am a new person. I feel terrific, amazing, energetic and alive. Cancer has taught me some strong lessons. I have to be able to bark at dragons and remember that the most powerful element I have is my mind. I cannot afford to squander any of my thought time on negativity or fear.
Still, if I wake at three a.m. before I can gain control of my mind, there might be phantoms of fear hovering, waiting to scare me. I say, “Stand Back!” and I pray and give thanks for the many amazing blessings I have in my life. Every bad experience I have ever had in life shows me how God has returned me to a life of love and blessings. These are personal miracles and I count them every time.
When I am done with all this treatment, I will tell you the stories that need to be told because they are important, and they make a story more compelling. Standing alone they don’t have power, but are huge nuisances. Let me say this, in cancer treatment in Western medicine, the bogeymen of healing, negativity and arrogance still ride fast on strong horses. There is no mention of nutrition, or other healing modalities in the oncologist’s office. These are things that must be sought with a convert’s zeal on the patient’s own time and without fear.
During my search of alternative healing modalities, I knew about and went to weekly acupuncture sessions, which I believe helped mitigate the effects of chemotherapy. My blood counts throughout chemo showed this. They were perfect all the time.
I pray a lot. I’m lucky that I am not a perfectionist and don’t hold myself to impossible standards. This makes it easy for me to believe that my Creator loves me without criticism and helps me every day. My very specific prayer on August 2nd was answered quickly. I prayed, ” Please help me find a healing modality which is not in conflict with my religious beliefs.”
I’ve responded well to treatments of all sorts. The tumor, according to my latest CT scan, and my own observation, has shrunk. I don’t know what the shining star is – chemo, medicine, prayers, nutrition, energy healing, acupuncture, Tong Ren, meditation, sleep – it all works and it is all under God’s permission and watchful eyes.
Of all my treatments that I go to, I love Tong Ren the most. The community in Quincy is fantastic. The stories of healing are astonishing. They are, to me, the opposite of my Western Med interactions. I love it too because one day a week, I get to immerse myself in an Asian world, an Asian mindset, a world where things are different and inexplicable to the doctors.
Last month, Bud and I celebrated our 30th anniversary. Our kids gave us a wonderful party. We have had a very happy marriage and the years have melted away. Yes, the obstacles have been heaped upon us. But these burdens have been carried and set down and healed. So we push forward. Through briar patches and mud, and rainy days, to the sunny patches of happy everyday life full of love and blessings.